‘The Aztec God’
Five years, five years grey walls surround
I stand alone, no solid ground
Upon which my despair has found
A hope of solace met.
My dears, my dears I’m at a loss
There is no temple, no Book, no cross
That can help me shirk my one great boss
Known as the Aztec God.
Like those who Mount Sinai have feared
Bowed down before, worshipped, revered
So do I fall year after year
Before the Aztec God.
Great Mountain, standing tall and white
It is my gift, it is my plight
There will never be one quite like
My menacing Aztec God.
When I finally leave my cell
With bravado my spirit will swell
And try to convince me that I’ll finally fell
The relentless Aztec God.
The time will come when I am free
To venture forth, turn a new leaf
And I’ll try with all my might to be
Above the Aztec God.
And then I feel him on me, crawling
My sweat drops copious as he is calling
And I know invariably I’ll be falling, falling
Right into his open arms.
But still I run for days and days
‘Never again,” my mind will say
I cannot make this place my stay
Beside the Aztec God.
I am ashamed to say I fell
The same ending to the story I tell
For no one can ever repel
The charming Aztec God.
Now four white lines replace my walls of grey
This great beast I will never slay
Only a matter of time until my stay
Will bring me back to the place
Where there’s no solace met.
Though nothing had been said
I never belonged
No matter how much I tried
Always the invisible barrier
To the place where I stood comfortably
As I watched others enjoy
The company of one another
Growing, changing, connecting
Though I longed for that commonplace
I silently revelled in my isolation
Too afraid to open up
The blame lies on both sides
On me, for never daring to cross
On others, for never daring to pry deeper
Though I still love them deeply
I also bear the knowledge
That the barrier still remains
With me on one side
And they on the other
Never knowing if we’ll ever be able
To meet somewhere true, somewhere real